Breaking news from South Surrey..
armed bandit found in bushes targeting fathers, mothers, a dog and chickens...
Fist pumping action, faster than this reporter has ever seen, the bandits lethal 40 foot jet spray fully loaded viper takes the innocent down before they can run.
We haven't been able to catch her yet..
..but believe this to be her.
Cleverly disguised behind a fake vanilla bean moustache, we were momentarily fooled.
The soggy trail of footprints and bold yet nonchalant use of the middle finger, tipped us off.
But she was gone.
Her accomplices, all believed to be fairytale princesses, can be found topless in the pool.
They aren't saying a thing.
In other news...
Johnny Drama dropped her first egg today after a feverish broody week.
To replenish her vitamin levels, she is eating every blueberry she can find on the Missing Goat farm.
What do our viewers all want to know...
will the eggs become blue.
